Twenty-Nine.
I turn 29 in a few days—three days, to be exact. And while I’m excited about life right now, I can’t help but imagine what could’ve been, what I thought I would’ve achieved by now. At this age, I imagined I’d be on top of my game in the corporate world, making waves and building a name for myself. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t exactly sure of the industry or what my role would be—I just saw myself in a nicely-fitted black skirt suit and 6-inch heels even if that gave my mother a heart attack, as she always said I didn’t need those because I was tall enough.
I remember thinking I would have a baby through a donor whenever I was ready because the idea appealed to me. I found boys to be weird—don’t judge me, I was about thirteen, I had never had a boyfriend, they aren’t any explainable reasons why I had those thoughts, but I did. Recently though, say about ten years ago, my plans shifted to being married with a baby or two by 30.
As I type this, I’m currently seated in my economy seat, headed to London to spend a few days with family. But if you guessed that younger me thought older me would be chilling in business class right now en route her sixth vacation of the year—gosh, daydreaming was my thing! —you’d be right. But in reality, I’m pretty happy with my seat. It has plenty of legroom, even if I have to admit that being right next to the exit bothers me a bit. If anything, I feel bad for the rest of the passengers who trust me to take action if anything happens—but God forbid!
I say all these to say: I don’t have any of those things yet—not the dream job, my own family, or the funds to make flying business class my reality. Yet, I feel as satisfied as could be in this very moment. While external factors play a key role in fulfilment, I think it also comes from all the lessons I’ve picked up along the way. So, brace yourself—I’ll tell you 29 things I’ve learned in my almost 29 years of living, in no particular order of importance:
- Not liking fruits and vegetables is not cute. Eat them as frequently as you apply your toner and sunscreen—this is such a personal jab from me to me!
- It’s okay to lose people, or maybe not—but I’ve lost people I thought would be in my life forever. However, I’m so grateful that I haven’t lost the most important person of them all: Myself. People pleasing and or breaking your boundaries will do you more harm than good.
- Piggybacking off my last point, it’s okay to give grace sometimes, but I’d pick discernment first!
- Gold jewelry is a game-changer.
- Stop trying to blend red flags into pink, because just like my good old Fenty Pro Filt’r foundation, that thing will oxidize and show its original shade in no time.
- What are your non-negotiables? I feel like this is underrated. Knowing what you don’t like will save you from the things you think you want. Some personal experiences made me realize, ‘Oh, you know what? I thought I wanted this, but I actually can’t stand it at all’ and that sealed it!
- It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong or to change sides when you learn new information.
- Follow your plans, don’t follow your mood.
- Put on your damn shoes when walking on the plane—it’s a public space!
- Have at least two lip glosses in your bag at all times—you never know when you might lose one.
- Want to be told how amazing you are? Send that text or tell someone how great they are too!
- Live a little. I cry a little every time I think about things I could’ve bought or the experiences I could’ve had for less, with the current exchange rate.
- Love is not enough—they have to have common sense.
- If you listen closely, people will always tell on themselves.
- Not everything needs a response, but sometimes you need to remind people that they don’t have the monopoly on madness—you sef get your own for body!
- Family is truly the (first and most likely your) most reliable support system.
- You can very much be in your ‘feminine energy’ without being a doormat.
- Tomorrow is not promised—let your loved ones know you love them.
- Red nail polish is not only for the aunties… or am I really just an ‘Aunty’ myself now?
- Stop trying to explain yourself to people who are bent on misunderstanding you. You’ll never get it right with them.
Is it crazy that I actually don’t mind being misunderstood? In my opinion, it curbs expectations and saves you from naysayers. They’re already naying anyway, if that’s even a word.
- Be kinder.
- Very cliche I know but the elders were right, not all that glitters is gold.
- Trust your gut feelings—more often than not, it’s telling you the truth.
- Anybody can rock pink, it is not a ‘childish’ colour.
- Forgive yourself.
- Not to be cliché again, but you know what they say about today being the youngest you’ll ever be? It’s never too late to start again.
- Not everything has to make sense to you for it to be real for others, and vice versa.
- No, you’re not crazy—the screens are frying your brains. Pick up a book and read, read, read.
- Sometimes, let the past remain in the past.
This is arguably the easiest blogpost I’ve had to write and it’s crazy only 20 minutes has gone by since I typed the title. But I hope you can learn a thing or two from me, and even drop your comments to soothe my ego on the fact that my imaginations are still just that – imaginations! Just as my final lesson says, I’m letting go of the past and I’m more excited about the future and what it has in store for me. I hope you are too, for you, of course.
And if you’re especially from Instagram and reading on my birthday, I love you—and it’s not like I don’t appreciate all of you who have constantly come back to read and support me. I really… here I am, overexplaining again… Clearly, I need to take my own advice. I should go now—I take my position as CEO (Chief Exit Officer) very seriously.
See ya and love ya x
